LEAVING ON A JET PLANE, don't know when I'll be back again

  The road home starts in just a few hours!

5 more days!

5 more days till I get to meet these guys and see the big guy! I can't even begin to tell you how much I can't wait.

Happy Halloween Chinese Style!

What limb difference?????

Check out Marek put on his own socks and shoes! Remember he has deformities of his hands. You go, little dude!! The video is dark but you can still see what he is doing!

I have FOUR kids but I've only met two.....

       So, that statement makes me laugh yet it couldn't be more true than it is today. Mike now has both boys!
 At 4:23 AM I recieved this from my brother: "Meeting Kyle poor kid is really scared."
At 6:05AM he sent this: "Cured fear with a good wrestling match. He is a very handsome boy."
Mike sent at 5:35AM "Have boy. Coming out of shell. Doing paperwork and copies. Met foster family and orphanage crew. Foster Mother would not come up to room. Did not want him to see her cry.

Thier train was 2 hours later so they had no time to ever freshen up before they went to get Kyle. He was able to give the foster family the gifts that we bought them just in case he got to meet them. I'm so glad about that they were the only gifts I honestly cared about. I wanted them to know we would our best to give a great life. So, it was a tough exchange on mike I think because it was all so rushed. I think he needs a moment to catch his breath but guess what he's got two kids now so there will be none of that. I'm looking forward to them getting to GZ because Ithink they will have the space to breath a little. Mike said communication is a challenge but that Kyle apparently does know I little English but he is embarrassed to use because he thinks it not good enough. Kyle is full of energy, I could tell that from the two seconds I had them on the phone but I'm hoping that he just really really hyper right now with all that is going on. I think tomorrow will be a good chance sort of reset and really where he is at. The boys are getting along great together and have been playing and playing which is very cool. So, thats about what I have so far in details. They have intenet in the room!!!!! So, maybe more pictures soon. Al did send me a new one of Marek. I just got a picture of Kyle and they weren't kidding what a handsome guy!

An Update!

      Well, Mike's internet troubles seem to persist. So, I'll pass on what he has been able to share in the all to brief moments that we have been able to use FaceTime. Michael got custody of Marek on Sunday. The plan was for Mike and Al with the guide, Sherri to go to the Civil Affairs Office building for 4pm. Well, they had trouble getting a cab so they opted for a city bus. Marek was being driven in from the orphanage by the orphanage director and his Nanny. Mike and Marek arrived at the same moment. Marek's orphanage had prepared him for his adoption so well that he immediately knew Mike and was pointing at him saying Baba, Baba (Daddy in chinese). So, they handed Marek to Mike right there on the street corner as he got off the bus. Then they proceeded to go in a get the days paperwork done. Marek never shed a tear the whole time. He knew he was supposed to go with Mike and that it was ok. After they finished at the office they went to the store to buy some diapers and supplies. By the time they got back to the hotel Marek was drenched in sweat because they had him in so many layers of clothes. Mike decided to see how a bath would go and Marek loved it. He was able to get me on the cell while he was in the bath and I could hear him just giggling that baby giggle that kids lose all to soon as they grow. He started to fuss as he was getting cold so Mike got him out and got him dressed and he as happy as a clam again. At bed time they tucked him in and he just went to sleep simple as that.
      His favorite toys are the ones that we had packed with lights, he is all about the lights. I had bought this little toy that you press the button and lights dance around in the inside of the top of it. You can see it in the picture of him sleeping.  Well, he loves this little toy so much that he won't let it out of his hand. Somehow, I think he will be a really big fan of glow sticks. I'll have to put a bunch in his bath then turn down the lights so he has a glowing bath, I'll bet he loves it.
      I've been able to facetime with him a couple of time and the first time you could see in his face that he knew my face as well as Logan's. He really seemed to know Logan's face.  Last night Mike had him in a little snoopy sweatshirt that I had bought and apparently he loved this sweatshirt. The hood has Snoopy ears and he thought that was the best. Al said they kept catching him peeking at himself in a mirror. They were laughing saying you could tell he thought that he was pretty cool. Tonight they are on the train headed to Hefei. Its a 16 hour ride and when they get there they will barely have time to drop their luggage before they are scheduled to get Kyle. So, thats basically where we are at right now. Here are the VERY few pictures I've been able to get. In fact several of them are screen shots during our FaceTime. Ignore the awful looking me in the bottom we tend to do these when its past my bed time and I'm dead tired from the day.....

Countdown to Marek

       Well, today at 4:00 I will meet and take custody of Marek. There are so many things going through my mind. Does he know we are coming? Has he been updated, as much as a three year old can be? Is he toilet trained (God, lets hope so, makes rest of trip easier)?

I honestly must say that there is a part of me that wishes Leslie were here. I just hope that Marek does well. I know that he will have no clue what really is going on and be upset. I hope that his transition will not be to tramatic. I hope that he received the package we had sent him. At least he would have the pictures we had sent. I just erased a whole paragraph I will try more after I get the little guy.

I think its safe to say that Michael is nervous in the these last few hours while he waits.....

Just Pictures

I am alive.

It took some time but I have Internet access, for now.

AND HE SLID DOWN THE WALL....so cool.

And he sent a picture!

Front Door to the Fly By Night Hostel Beijing

No Data In, No Data Out

      Well, I had hoped to have to update this blog a lot more than I am. Mike has run into problems getting on to the internet. So far he can't seem to figure out how to get the VPN to work leaving all of us me included a bit in the dark as to how things are going. I was able to get him on the phone yeaterday while he was on the train to Xi'an but it only lasted about 2 minutes and this morning I got a great connection with him but I had to leave to get to work so I only got a couple of minutes again and most of it was spent on fixing the VPN. Anyway, let me pass on what I do know. They arrived safely in Beijing, spent the night at the Fly By Night Hostel which Mike said was beautiful after his first impression of the neighborhood was that it was a bit sketchy. He got there in the evening so I think the dark made things even worse then what they were. That morning they went out to the Great Wall. They wanted to take the tram up and walk down to the alpine slide but the plans I think got lost in translation and the guide brought them to the chair lift instead. They ended up hiking up before going back down to the slide. Mike said that it was very steep and he kept misplacing his steps on the uneven ground and almost falling. He said Al told him if you break something up here we're in trouble so cut  it out. LOL Al texted me that he thought the wall was "awesome" and I'm sure thats true. They were able to take the slide down which Mike loved.
            The guide dropped them off at the train station early and they were lucky to find someone who spoke English who helped them find the waiting area. They were able to buy something to eat which Michael said was the first real meal they had since they left. (thank god, I packed tons of snacks) It was some green bean, meat and rice dish. Mike loved it and apparently it was big enough that they just split it. Once on the train they crashed pretty quickly and slept thru to Xi'an.
            Once the train arrived in Xi'an and got off the train. They were completely overewhelmed by the size of Xi'an and the sheer amount of people. Plans were that they were supposed to get to the hotel (The Bell Tower) on thier own but they were incredibly happy to find their WACAP guide holding a sign for them. After leaving the station and seeing the sheer size of the city Mike feared they really would have struggled to find their way. Not being a city guy ever in his life, this big city is quite the change for my little Vermont born country boy! They are currently safely at the hotel and were enjoying a free day today. Tomorrow they go to the Terra Cotta Warriors and Sunday at 4pm is MAREK TIME!

So that where we are at. Once we can get internet access I can get the posts that he has been writing and hopifully some pictures.

Flight to a New Family

A 14 hour flight with 2 inches of leg room gives you a lot of time to think about what you are doing. Even as I am flying over the Pacific I am not nervous. We have been through a lot in our family over the past 12 years.  We came home with two special needs kids from Ukraine in 2001 and honestly did not have a clue what we were getting into. We are older and wiser this time around, and these two boys in my eyes really do not have true special needs. I have learned a lot about myself as a person by parenting and I feel that we are going into this with much greater knowledge, wisdom and understanding. I am looking forward to this journey and even more to getting off of this plane. 
More to follow
....Michael

He got off the plane and hopped on another one. According to the Korean Air website, they have arrived in Beijing!

Long Day.....

       For the last couple of weeks I've had some stuff on my mind. You know, packing, planning, replanning and repacking etc etc etc..... Somewhere in there I was stupid. I forgot to remind myself of one fact of this trip and it hit me square in the face first thing this morning. The plan today was that my bother would leave his house at around 4am and drive the 200 miles from RI over our house here in NY. We would then drive the four hours to JFK in time for them to make their 2:00pm flight.  Alan (my brother) arrived on time, a little early even. We gathered up all the luggage and went to leave. That is when I hit in the face with this:

                           
          This is my brother's car.  More importantly is that it was my father's car. It has not been in my driveway since the last time my Dad drove it here which was undoubtedly the last time my Dad was ever here. My Dad died two days before Christmas in 2008. Three months after he was diagnosed with ALS but 8 months after we all already knew what was happening to him. My mom followed him in 2.5 years later. Seeing this in my driveway literally took my breath away. I should have remembered that most likely it is what my brother would have driven over but I didn't think about it. The thing is I live 3 hours away from where I grew up where my parents lived, where my brother still lives. I don't have to face the daily reminders of them that are everywhere over there, driving by their house, my mom's church, things like that. I can neatly put all that stuff on the back burner in my head a just deal with my life here. I rarely go to RI anymore and when I do I'm prepared and I avoid certain places like their house, too many memories, too overwhelming. So, this morning in a flash I find myself a basket case of emotion because of this damn car. The day was already big enough on its own, I did not need this at all. It makes me spend too much time thinking about how much I miss things like this:

                                     
           And how much I wish they could be here for my new little guys. They would have loved them like crazy. My brother and I talked about it on the drive to the airport. Last time, they were waiting for me at the airport to come from from Ukraine. I hope they are watching. I hope they are along for the ride. This was a hard day for me, all those hours alone in the car after I dropped off Mike and Al too much time to dwell on what was. I'm glad to be home now so I can shake it off.
         Ok, on the happier things, Mike and Al got off ok. I dropped them at the airport around 11:30 and the flight was leaving as I said before at 2. I'm hoping that he is able to get a wifi connection and drop me an email or something tomorrow. No worries, he will when he can. I know he is going to handle this all like a pro. They both will. I sent two very adoption savvy guys on this mission! My brother has adopted as well. So, these boys are in good hands. The plan is arrive 8pm on Thursday China Time. Friday, I set them up with a guide for the Great Wall. I pray they get great weather so they can alpine slide down. (Mike was REALLY looking forward to that) Friday night its an overnight train to Xi'an. They will spend a couple of days touring around Xi'an before Sunday. Thats D-day or M-day, the day they get Marek! They get to Hefei on the 30th where they get Kyle on Halloween. On to Guangzhou on the 2nd. Visa's for the boys on the 6th then home on the 8th.
       

Next Chapter

After having waited for over a year, the time is fast approaching to leave and expand our family. Over 13 years ago Leslie and I became a family of 2. Then 11 years ago we traveled to Ukraine and became a family of 4. In under 2 weeks I will be on my way to making us a family of 6. Never as I was growing up did I think I would be a parent of 4 boys, let alone the places I have traveled to get them. I can't help but look back as we are moving forward. There have been some tough times the past couple of years, but they have prepared us for what we are about to take on. Some family and friends think we are crazy for adopting 2 more special needs children, they may be right, but it is the right thing for Leslie and I and for our family. We have received our itinerary for our trip and are ready to go. Bags are packed and repacked, fees have been paid, and we have tickets in hand. Please join us in this journey as we are about to start the next chapter in our lives.

 

October 23: Leave for China

 

October 24-25: Arrive in Bejing and spend day at Great Wall

 

October 28: Gottcha Day in Xi'an for Marek

 

October 31: Gottcha Day in Hefei for Kyle 

 

November 6: Consulate Appointment in Guangzhou for Boys Visas and Oath

Fly home on the 8th.

Pre-Birthday Weekend Surprise

Monday is Kyle's 8th birthday. We used a service through a woman in China, Anne at Red Threads to send him a birthday package. We were hoping to get some pictures next week maybe of Kyle with his cake and package. We woke up this morning to an email from Anne and attached were 6 new pictures of Kyle. What a way to start the weekend! There were new measurements and he has grown quite a bit! In the last update he was listed at 44lbs and just under 4 feet tall. NOW he is 53lbs ans 50.3 inches tall. Big difference. I think some repacking just might be in order. We're looking forward turning that face around to be a smiling one!

TA and CA (Travel Approval and Consulate Appointment)

After 21 day, we received our TA (travel approval)  from China. It was a long and stressful wait. The average wait had been 7 to 10 days. So needless to say by day 20 there was some nerves and bad moods in the Desjadon household. But then on day 21, October 21 we got the phone call we had been waiting for. We quickly requested our Consulate date and on Monday it was approved. That is when the reality bat hit me upside the head, I am leaving in just over a month! On October 23, I will be boarding a plane with my brother in law and starting the next leg in this journey that has been going on for over a year.

Tickets have been bought and we are awaiting the itinerary of the trip. Our Consulate appointment for the kids visas is November 6th. This will be the first election since I have been able to vote that I will not be going into a booth and pulling a lever. Absentee ballot here I come.

Michael

Getting Closer

    This past Friday (8-31), our Article 5 was picked up from the US consulate, this was US Immigration saying we are good to go on the our end. We now are waiting for Travel Approval from China. Travel approval is our invitation to come to China and get the boys. We should hear in around 7 to 10 business days.
    We can now say that we are getting our kids next month. The reality hit us over the weekend. It is looking like I will be leaving at the end of the first week in October.
       I want to thank all of the people that I have worked with that have donated and helped get us closer to our fund raising goal. I work and have worked with some amazing people. It means a lot to Leslie and I that so many people have helped us out. Many of you were there 11 years ago when we adopted Logan and Sergei, and now are here for Kyle and Marek. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
There is still time to pitch in if you want to help!

Here is a little more about us and our story:

With a little help from our friends.....

        As  many of you know we are adopting a young boy from China. As this process progressed, our hearts were drawn by another young boy on our agencies website.  Once we looked at his file and learned more about him, it became clear to us that this boy was meant to be our son too. With the blessing of our other children, we asked China for permission to bring him into our lives and they said yes. We have decided to call him Kyle. He is about to turn 8 years old and was born with a congenital heart defect called tetralogy of fallot. Abandoned in an alley at 6 months old most likely due to this defect, he was brought to an orphanage where he was able to get surgery to mend his broken heart. For the last 7 years that is where he has been waiting, waiting for someone to call him their own, waiting for us to find him. Now that we have, we are faced with the daunting costs in bringing him home.  We are humbly asking for your help. Our goal is to get 1,000 people to donate just 10 dollars to his adoption fund. It sounds like an impossible task but we believe we can all do this together. Whatever you could do, whether it be 10 dollars or more or less every penny will help and every penny will go directly to our agencies fees and fees in China. The other thing we ask is that you share this video on your Facebook, your blog, wherever you are that your friends will see it and have a chance to help Kyle too.

We thank you with all our hearts, especially Kyle's fragile mended one. We believe the greatest gift you can give this child is a chance. A chance to love and be loved, a chance to live and grow with the hope of a bright future. Your donation helps provide this boy that chance. The chip in on the sidebar is set up for you to easily join this effort.

Thank you

LOA

We have our LOA for Marek! We got it on July 6th 59 days of waiting are over! So, he is all ours....well, just about!  We have a snag in the process but I now it will be smoothed over soon!

Another letter from school....oh no

Yesterday in the mail I recieved a letter from the boy's school. Now if you know my boys then you understand that this school has my house on speed dial. Heck, I think the Vice principal is going to start inviting me to her family functions I deal with this woman so much, no joke. The end of school last year I sent several school admins flowers because my kid was such a

HUGE

PAIN

IN

THE

ASS!!!

Pardon my french but man it was that one tough year. From discipline to emotional to bullying problems and throwing on top my mom's slow march to her passing just after the school year ended,  life with an ADHD/RAD boy were not the best of days. After a stint in hospital to reevaluate his meds and get his head back on straight, did things ever change. At the beginning of this school year I made a bet with said young man that if he could manage to not get in trouble AT ALL this whole school year that I would purchase that fancy new bike that he had been asking for so much. Of course thinking I would never in a million years have to worry about buying any bike.
     Well, I waited for the phone to ring....
but it didn't
      I waited for the emails to start coming but
they didn't
I thought for sure they'd get me when I sign them out of school everyday but
no one said anything....EVER.

So, I happily ate some crow and allowed several, "I told you so's" and threw out some, "I knew you could do it's" When I really I had my doubts but I was wrong, very wrong and I'm so glad I was......

      I learned Logan's aide lobbyed the 8th grade teachers HARD to vote to give him an award at 8th grade night at school. We have been blessed to have had her and his awesome social worker in his life for the past several years. What a difference they have made. Together they fought to make teachers understand how far he's come and that he is NOT the sum of his "disabled" parts and that this child of trauma can rise above. I think they managed to teach other educators to stop faulting him for what he can not change and praising him for what he has. I think Lo will be floored when they call his name next week. I can't wait to see it.

Having A Moment.....

I took the bigs to the dentist yesterday for a regular cleaning. Eldest child needs to brush better (shocker) but nothing terrible to report. While, I realize that none of that sounds interesting in the least, I took the chance to do something that after I did it hit me like a bat up side the head. I was making return appointments for the boys next cleaning in December when it occurred to me that it might be a good time to make an appointment for Mr. Marek to get seen by our dentist after his arrival. So, we guessimated when to make it for and set it up. It was that simple, bam, all done. BAM is right because thats when it hit me to see his name written thier in the appointment book.... this just got VERY REAL! Smack there it goes that bat once again. Mind you, this was not a negative reaction in the least, just a reality check that this little human who has just been a concept in my mind for months well, year really is going to get all to real very soon. I'm looking forward to it and the adventure it brings but to say I'm not nervous about the major changes coming our way would be a big ole lie. Having been there done that with adoption stress before I fully understand just how big of an undertaking this truly is...... WHACK, THERE GOES THAT BAT AGAIN......

Happy Birthday, boy errr, young man.

This is what I see when I think about my oldest son:

A dirty faced little boy with a thick Ukrainian accent with a knack for finding trouble and when he can't find some well then creating some. Like breaking open a glow stick and rubbing the fluid in it all over yourself when your supposed to be sleeping. So, that when Mom and Papa hear you and go upstair to check what's up, they turn on the light to find him standing naked in the middle to the room with a "caught" look of his face. Seeing nothing amiss he's told to put undies on and settle down for bed. As we leave the room and flip the light switch we're faced with a room and boy that look like a murder scene that has been sprayed with Luminol. Glowing brightly in the corner are the underwear he wasn't wearing as he had used them to clean up the fluid that had sprayed out of the glow stick. Light switch on: No Problem, light off: problem! OR another classic Logan; 4th birthday first birthday with a forever family. Well, we had done cake and ice cream with him the day before he did this with extended family. Not having the chance to share in any of his milestones before age 4 we thought in our new parent infinite wisdom, that we'd get some cake on his face and snap a couple of cute pictures. Well, he loved this idea and giggled like crazy when Papa put cake on his face. The next day when Nanny and Papa D come for a birthday visit. We did cake yet again, I mean why not really, its your "first" birthday. Well, apparently our boy learned well from the day before, as soon as he got his cake he grabbed a handful and lobbed it in Nanny's face, in a big BIG WAY. It did NOT go over well with Nanny.

11 (at times trying) years later, that dirty faced boy is making his way out the door and leaving a young man  who, ironically doesn't like cake :) and now mows the lawn instead of wearing it on his head. A young man who is looks forward to his future and finding his place in the world. I love this new young man I have before me but my heart at times miss that little mischievous boy with the accent. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOGAN!!!

LID May 8, 2012

We received our log in date of May 8! So, we are in the pipeline and we can start counting the days! We are looking at around a 2-3 months wait. Arghhh, I hate waiting.

Marek in Graphic!

Michael, my DH who is a print and web graphics guy took a picture of Marek and made this design with it and had it printed on a t-shirt for Marek to wear after Gotcha Day. I love it. Marek will be the coolest kid in GZ, well at least to me!

WE ARE DTC! 4/19/2012

DTC means dossier to China. It means our packet of paperwork explaining who we are, a small slice of our life and officially asking permission for us to adopt Chen Hui Jun is on its way to the CCCWA in China. The next thing we should be hearing is that we have a LID or Log In Date, the date Chinese officials put our paperwork into the pipeline to approval. Now we have a hopefully not to long to wait, for that and then we can start counting the days to approval.

Blog Rewind: Feb. 7, 2012

In February, with the help of Ladybugs and Love, we received an update. We learned that lots of things had changed for Master Hui Jun. First, we discovered that at that time he had been moved to a foster home in Beijing from the orphanage in Baoji. We were thrilled to learn that he was now in a foster care in hopes that there he is able to form a good bond with the foster parents. I think its safe to say that our biggest worry is that he will have attachment issues. He having been down that road with Logan, we understand what a tough road that is but at least as we have said we a that dark hole and are making our way out so we get the attachment drill. (Do we ever!)  We also learned most important and most unexpectedly that he had the surgery that we discussed in the last post.  Anyway, the little guy gets cuter by the day and we get more anxious by the day to get him to where he belongs, right here amid this wacky clan!

Blog Rewind 2/2012 Marek's Special Need

Marek's adoption is a Special Needs Adoption from China. So, I thought take the time to tell you a little about what he's got going on.  Marek has deformities of both of his hands and one of his feet. From what the doctors who have looked at his file for us have said from the information we have is that it appears that he is affected by something called ABS or Amniotic Band Syndrome. Here a definition of ABS from amnioticbandsyndrome.com:

What is Amniotic Band Syndrome? ABS occurs when the fetus becomes entangled in fibrous string-like amniotic bands in the womb, restricting blood flow and affecting the baby’s development. If a band wraps tightly around a limb, the limb can actually be completely amputated. If the band is across the baby’s face it can cause cleft palate. In a large number of cases the baby is also born with clubfeet. ABS is also the cause of numerous miscarriages, such as when a band becomes wrapped around the umbilical cord. ABS occurs randomly. It’s not genetic, nor is it caused by anything a pregnant Mom did or didn’t do during pregnancy. Just because a person already has one child with ABS, that doesn’t make it any more likely that it’s going to affect a future pregnancy.

We have learned that he recently had reconstructive surgery on his fused hand. I am amazed by what they had done. His hand looks so well, USEFUL! His "need" in quickly turning into a non issue. We understand that he was have to learn to do certain things differently but certainly with these improvements nothing is going to get in his way! We have the name of a great hand surgeon that we got from a awesome source whose father was a world known hand surgeon before he retired. His foot is really a very minor deformity so we will leave with before and after pictures of his hands.

Blog Rewind to 12/11/2011

Here are some other early pictures we have gotten of our soon to be new, young son Hui Jun. He appears to be about 8 months old or so and well, just pretty darn cute!

                                     

Blog Rewind!

So, this was the announcement we did to tell our family and friends that we were adopting again:

 We invite you to join us on our journey to adopt again. This time to Baoji City in the Shaanxi province of China.  Thats in central China for the curious. We received pre-approval from China to adopt this little guy on 11/1/11. His name currently is Chen but we are planning to call him Marek Pierce Desjadon. Marek is pronounced like Derek but with an M. Pierce is of course, a president (go figure, right?).  He was born on September 18, 2009. We are currently in the midst of our homestudy which is just the beginning step of this adventure.  We have more information to share about him so please bookmark the site and check in with us here.  We will keep you posted on where we are at in the process and feel free to leave comments here. Just hit the button to the right of the Post title, “Anyone for Chinese Take out?”. It looks like a gray box with chinese characters. Push it then a comment box appears at the very bottom of the post under Marek’s pictures.  We are hoping to hear  you are as excited as we are.

NEW BLOG

So, as I'm sure you've noticed I decided to move the blog. Why? Well, I found WordPress on the other blog very hard to use for the techno not savvy...i.e. me! Blogger seems to be much easier so I'm going to play around for a bit and see what I think.